she was so not down for the gang bang
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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