You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
