She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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