awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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