I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
