Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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