did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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