HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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