You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
