Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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