I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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