end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
