in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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