I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
