No awkward lesbian experiences without me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think pants incapable of making pants work
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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