So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
