Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
