Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
