Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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