There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
