I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
