he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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