I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
