I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
