Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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