Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
