we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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