Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
