Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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