In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
