Soap is not a condiment
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
