Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
