So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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