he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
