Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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