I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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