Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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