it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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