If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
