I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
