I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
