We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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