Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
