Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
they're like a gay fantastic four
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
