I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
