so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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