Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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