There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize