I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
