my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
