Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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