I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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