So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize