I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
