yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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