You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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