yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
