She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
