This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
