:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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