DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
