I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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