Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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