You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
