dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
