He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize