Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
