So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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