He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize