If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize