suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
