gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
